is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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