We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I deserve this hangover.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
