Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
