And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
