One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
