theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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