the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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