the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
