Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
