You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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