STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
You ate ashes out of my bong
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
