i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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