Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
