I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
