She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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