we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
