this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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