508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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