after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
You were trust falling into bushes
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
