Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
