she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
