At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize