a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
tell me about the fingering
Randomize