We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
