Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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