How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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