Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
