hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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