i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
