He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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