This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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