I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
