Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
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oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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