Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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