hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
