im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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