I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
