I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Randomize
