Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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