Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize