I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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