i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
