chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
