mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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