eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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