her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
