You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I'm having to shit out rocks
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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