i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize
