How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
