Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
