Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize