Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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