he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
