somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
