You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
