I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
