The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Randomize
