i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
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I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
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He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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