he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize
