with your own penis?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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