Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize